9-17-16

Hello my love,

I'm sorry that it's been so long but we've been very crazy lately. We have it both your parents and her only up for a week which was nuts we got through it. I've been working crazy hours lately and we've both been stressed the fuck out.

Your parents' visit was really nice and I feel like your parents really saw me for the first time. Your dad gave me a real dad hug and it was really awesome. I saw your mom as Princess Michele for the first time and we had a good chuckle about it after the fact.

Having Hurley here was also really nice. I hope you enjoyed it. You seemed to...

Since last time we have three babies now: George, Pablo, and Steve Bushemi. They are beautiful fish even though George is a fucking asshole and beats up the other two...

We went apple picking at Lull Farm in Hollis and brought back10 gallons of cider to make hard cider for Frank and Teresa's wedding (and also some for us!!)

Last night we had really beautiful, lovey but also intense sex and I have the bruises to prove it.

Last night we also made chicken tiki marsala and it was delicious. I love so much when we cook together. It's one of those things that prove we're better as a team. We also finished Dr. Strangely Strangelove, which I very much enjoyed.

Today you got fitted for a tux for Frank's wedding and visited me at work. We got Buffalo Wild wings for lunch and I got to stare at your beautiful face.

Tonight we brewed the second thing (your delicious Celtic red) for your brothers wedding. Tom from the home brew store came over and we had a really great time. We had many different discussions about beer and feminism and rap and it was quite lovely.

I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is knowing that you are always by my side.

You're back from the potty!!! Can't let you in on this secret quite yet!!!

Your's
M

8-2

Hello my love,

I am tummy sick because you were tummy sick. We do love sharing with each other,don't we?

I don't think I tell you enough how much I appreciate the fact that you always show love. Love is a verb, thank you so much for not having to say that you love me out loud  (but thank you so much for actually saying it.)

You are currently making me soup from scratch and I'm posted up in the yogi yogibo on the kitchen floor with a puke bucket next to me. I'm sorry that I got so sick bub. Thank you for always taking care of me. These moments really feel like forever to me. 

Your new laptop comes in tomorrow!! For whatever reason they sent it to Texas... what butts.

Anyways, I love you. I hope that you know how much I love you without me having to say words. I always always always want to be showing you how much I love you

Xoxo
M

https://youtu.be/doZOMXh_oIk

7-7

Hey baby!

You have been really stressed out about work lately. I wish I could do something to help because you get so stressed out and I feel bad. I know that it sucks so much that they expect you to do so only so much in such a little time frame. I wish that I could help make it not so horrible or be able to take something off of your work plate.

This weekend you're going to Buffalo with out me to clean out your old room and go through your old stuff. I wish I could explain in a better way how much I would want to go with you. I know that my reaction when I saw the picture in your old apartment of Amanda with your family really impacted you. I wish I could understand how to explain it to you better than it's different for you to have something in New Hampshire versus something that's hidden in your bedroom in Buffalo.

When I was cleaning out my old bedroom I found so many things and reminders of experiences and artifacts of things that I've never even thought to tell you about. I want to know everything about you I want to know how you got to me. I know it's weird to hear from me but I really do want to know about the path that you took to get to me, and I know a big part of that is who you have been with romantically or just physically.

I just want to be able to see like a little baby awkward Kevin. I want to see horrible chess club pictures and learn about different stories and hear about your experiences for things. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I have changed my mind earlier. The way that you had talked about it made me think that you didn't want me to go. It was never a question of if I wanted to it was more of a statement of "you're going to hate your life."

I really do hope that you read this and reminisce on how much of a fun time you had while you were in Buffalo.

I love you so much baby.

Xoxo
M

6-20-16

Hello my love,

We have both been so lovey lately, its so wonderful. Today is the first official day of Summer and it fucking shows. Its about 92* right now and we're both struggling...

I cannot wait until you finally get all of this, I hope you like it.

This past weekend was Matt and Rosa's party. We had a really good time and held our own in pong for like three games. I love when we do things as a couple. Going somewhere and walking in with my hand in your hand. There's something about being seen as your's that makes me feel so proud. I always seem to walk a little straighter and feel a thousand times sexier when I'm by your side.

You're home and I'm not good at being sneaky with this.

I love you!

xoxox M

6-5-16

hello baby,

We've been arguing and talking about sensitive topics (I.e. Marriage and stuff) a lot while you've been in Arkansas.

Last night I just sat in bed and cried. I cried because I miss you and I don't like not knowing what's coming. I cried because it's hard for me to imagine you on one knee. I cried because I feel like I'm failing at womanhood or being sexy or making you love me to the point that it's irrational simply because we aren't engaged yet.

I don't even know what to say about it right now but you're on a plane and it's raining and I'm really fucking nervous.

I just need your arms around me and your hand on my fave and your lips on my lips: I need to look at you and know that we're going to be okay. We're going to be okay, right?

My brain isn't working well and I needed you this week and you couldn't be by my side and truthfully I was really hurt that everything happened the way it did. That you never even thought to ask Chris if I could come... I think it's worse because you're never like that. You always remember. You always go above and beyond.

My head hurts.

You're supposed to land soon and I am so ready for you to be home baby.

I love you even when it's hard to. I love you for the person you are. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. Whenever you're ready to ask me, I already know my answer.

I am the luckiest.

Xox
M

5-3-16

Hello my handsome man,

Today I brought my first suitcase to Wilton. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😊😊😊

I'm currently laying in bed because my heart is pounding so hard it's a little scary. I wish you were here to hold me and tell me I'm safe. I told you I was having anxiety issues and you sent me this: 

"*hugs tightly and pulls you tight against me* I'm always here for you darling, I'm here to support you, love you, make you unable to walk, to protect you, to help you succeed and grow in everything you do. I'm yours and you are mine, and with that being true, we can accomplish whatever we want to put our minds to"

I hope that when you read this, you still feel like this. 

6-1-16

Hello Dearest,

I am currently concussed so this might not be a very long entry.. (Also Ryan is yelling at me to get off of my phone, he is making me say that.)

I'm sorry it's been such a long gap between entries. Between moving in(!!!) and getting the promotion , things have been crazy.

You left for Chris's wedding today. I know you're going to have so much fun and I'm so excited for you! I know seeing Chris is such a big deal for you and you get to spend so much time with him this week!!!

I'm so nervous that you're away and my brain is so weird right now. I always feel better when you're around. I was iffy most of today until you came home...

I feel like I'll be writing here a bunch while you're away telling you all of my misadventures with doctors and bullshit. Because I'm going to want to tell you all of that but I don't want to disturb you. I never want to seem like the "CRAZY GIRLFRIEND". I never want to be someone that holds you back from doing things like this weekend.

I'm sorry that "bachelor party" has such negative connotations in my head... I trust you more than absolutely anyone in the universe. I just don't trust anyone else... I know that things happen, but I never want anything like that to get in between us.

You are the love of my life and I'm so excited to meet Chris someday. (Hopefully before our wedding.)

I am so excited to have you in my arms again my love.

Your's always,

M