6-20-16

Hello my love,

We have both been so lovey lately, its so wonderful. Today is the first official day of Summer and it fucking shows. Its about 92* right now and we're both struggling...

I cannot wait until you finally get all of this, I hope you like it.

This past weekend was Matt and Rosa's party. We had a really good time and held our own in pong for like three games. I love when we do things as a couple. Going somewhere and walking in with my hand in your hand. There's something about being seen as your's that makes me feel so proud. I always seem to walk a little straighter and feel a thousand times sexier when I'm by your side.

You're home and I'm not good at being sneaky with this.

I love you!

xoxox M

6-5-16

hello baby,

We've been arguing and talking about sensitive topics (I.e. Marriage and stuff) a lot while you've been in Arkansas.

Last night I just sat in bed and cried. I cried because I miss you and I don't like not knowing what's coming. I cried because it's hard for me to imagine you on one knee. I cried because I feel like I'm failing at womanhood or being sexy or making you love me to the point that it's irrational simply because we aren't engaged yet.

I don't even know what to say about it right now but you're on a plane and it's raining and I'm really fucking nervous.

I just need your arms around me and your hand on my fave and your lips on my lips: I need to look at you and know that we're going to be okay. We're going to be okay, right?

My brain isn't working well and I needed you this week and you couldn't be by my side and truthfully I was really hurt that everything happened the way it did. That you never even thought to ask Chris if I could come... I think it's worse because you're never like that. You always remember. You always go above and beyond.

My head hurts.

You're supposed to land soon and I am so ready for you to be home baby.

I love you even when it's hard to. I love you for the person you are. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. Whenever you're ready to ask me, I already know my answer.

I am the luckiest.

Xox
M

5-3-16

Hello my handsome man,

Today I brought my first suitcase to Wilton. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😊😊😊

I'm currently laying in bed because my heart is pounding so hard it's a little scary. I wish you were here to hold me and tell me I'm safe. I told you I was having anxiety issues and you sent me this: 

"*hugs tightly and pulls you tight against me* I'm always here for you darling, I'm here to support you, love you, make you unable to walk, to protect you, to help you succeed and grow in everything you do. I'm yours and you are mine, and with that being true, we can accomplish whatever we want to put our minds to"

I hope that when you read this, you still feel like this. 

6-1-16

Hello Dearest,

I am currently concussed so this might not be a very long entry.. (Also Ryan is yelling at me to get off of my phone, he is making me say that.)

I'm sorry it's been such a long gap between entries. Between moving in(!!!) and getting the promotion , things have been crazy.

You left for Chris's wedding today. I know you're going to have so much fun and I'm so excited for you! I know seeing Chris is such a big deal for you and you get to spend so much time with him this week!!!

I'm so nervous that you're away and my brain is so weird right now. I always feel better when you're around. I was iffy most of today until you came home...

I feel like I'll be writing here a bunch while you're away telling you all of my misadventures with doctors and bullshit. Because I'm going to want to tell you all of that but I don't want to disturb you. I never want to seem like the "CRAZY GIRLFRIEND". I never want to be someone that holds you back from doing things like this weekend.

I'm sorry that "bachelor party" has such negative connotations in my head... I trust you more than absolutely anyone in the universe. I just don't trust anyone else... I know that things happen, but I never want anything like that to get in between us.

You are the love of my life and I'm so excited to meet Chris someday. (Hopefully before our wedding.)

I am so excited to have you in my arms again my love.

Your's always,

M