3-21-17

Hello my love,

We have been so crazy lately with Manya. We took her to the Merrimack Outlets yesterday and she did so so good. We were able to be calm(ish) when we met new people, we were sitting and listening before we were able to say hello to new friends.

It seems like our lives are run by a 5 pound, 11 week old schnauzer. She is so great and we love her so much and its going to get better as she gets older, but right now she needs us all of the time and its very draining for both of us. I feel like we haven't talked, just talked the two of us about us and our thoughts and feelings and dreams and all of that. It makes you seem so far away. I know you need that too, but I need that so desperately.

It is really weird lately, everyone is still asking me what I'll be like when we have kids. Its so weird to me that the assumption is made that we will reproduce at some point. I think you would be really great at it, especially with how you are with Miss Manya.

I also just realized that none of the posts that I tried to post via my phone actually posted and they just keep failing to upload. The person I would ask to help me with this issue would be you, but that would be a little weird, huh?

I love you Kev, I know I say that every single post, but fuck you are the most wonderful and caring man I've ever known. The way you love me is indescribable. You are so subtle in every way you verb for me. I notice. I notice (hopefully) every time. I notice when you catch yourself putting pepper or hot sauce in something, realize it might be too much for me, but not enough for you and then adding it to your own portion later. I notice that you turn the water up a little bit warmer when I get into the shower.

I notice that you always put my keys back in the key box. I notice that you move my jammies back to my side of the bed after I throw them on the floor of the bathroom. I notice that you never complain about turning off the lights as I run upstairs. I notice that you always ask me how I want to cuddle, even if we're both sore and feeling 85 years old.

I know that sometimes I'm not the easiest person to love sometimes. I know I am needy, I know my schedule sucks, I know I'm picky and I get nervous about everything. I know that I don't tend to be the most patient person (ever). I fucking love you. I love you more than anything. I feel like the better version of me when I'm with you. Thank you for pushing me and challenging me.

I love you baby
Your's
M